Wednesday rant: Why I hate pollen

In this period of lockdown a lot of us are time-rich and there are times when we try to find things to do to keep busy. Yesterday I decided to wash my car. Not just wash it but give it the best darn wash it’s ever had! Today however, I’m fuming!

I get it. From the tallest oak to the most irrelevant garden weed - flowers, plants and trees play a massive role in our environment. They all absorb carbon dioxide and release oxygen from their leaves, which we all need to breathe. Like I said – I get it. I also understand the role pollen plays in all of this. Plants with flowers need pollination to create new seeds that will grow into new plants. Again, I get it. However, just because I understand the vital role pollen plays in our lives it by no means says that I have to like it!

I never took much notice or gave much thought to pollen in the past in all honesty. So, why do I hate it so much now you may ask? Well, it’s because I spent almost the entire day dedicated to cleaning my Audi A5. I don’t just mean giving it a light wipe with a sponge, I mean hard grafting! I cleaned and polished every piece of metal work on that thing. So much that my arms were aching and I had blisters on my hands. It was a good day’s work and my car looked as if it had just come off the production line. To be honest I couldn’t stop staring at it from my window while praising myself at the excellent job I had done.

I woke up this morning feeling fine – as the song goes. I looked out of the window and there my car was in all its shining glory. After a few hours of pottering in the garden I needed to get something out of the garage. I went around the front of the house and had to do a double take at the car that was standing in my driveway. Yes, it was my car but instead of the polished version I had seen only a few hours earlier I was greeted by a car that was covered in a yellowy dust! That shine, and all my hard work, had vanished! On closer inspection I discovered the metalwork was now coated in fluffy pollen.

I know that pollen on my car is much more of a problem than just looking ugly. On a microscopic level they’re a field of tiny hooks and needles and it’s these hooks that help it cling to the pores in your car’s paint. The hooks by themselves are not the most damaging aspect. The worst thing about pollen on your car is its acidity. Naturally, you’d think to just wait for a rain shower or quickly hose it down to clean it off. However, this simply won’t cut it. All this will do is potentially stain the car. So, I know the pollen has to go and the only way to do this properly is to go through the entire process of cleaning my car again. The worst thing about all of this…..a high pollen count is forecasted in my area for the next seven days! That’s why I really hate pollen!